Show Up For Life

My husband took issue with my latest post linking Roissy’s work. I wasn’t too surprised at his objection, but his opinion sounded a little off kilter considering he half seriously uttered the phrase “we should repeal women’s voting rights” just last week and backtracked on that bruising bon mot to “only property owners should vote” after I cocked a serious eyebrow in his direction. 

After I defended my linkage and the offender’s overall thematics, I listened to my husband’s thoughts on the matter.

While he, in the main, agreed with Roissy’s post, he was disturbed by the man’s overall site, particularly his definition of top Alpha males as intentionally cruel, bad boys who’s only point in life is to get as much prime quality pussy as possible. He disliked his dismissal of Beta males and found many of his posts crude, sexist and offensive. He was also dismayed by my apparent endorsement of Roissy’s definition of Alpha males and concerned that horny freaks would come crawling out the woodwork because of the linkage. All solid points worth serious consideration because my husband is an Alpha male who would never in a million years behave as Roissy suggests real men should act if they don’t want to become some gorgeous woman’s doormat.

This lead to a beautifully winding post that got lost in a bevy of meaningless words. Two thousand keystrokes dumped trying to find a way to express some simple human truths. Let’s see if I can tighten this baby up.

Roissy’s absolutely right and fundamentally wrong. Explaining the disparities isn’t simple.

Shave the social veneer from our hides and the animal comes shining through. We live to procreate, our basic DNA demands we find the best partner to pass on the genetic lineage. This isn’t always a rational or well thought out process, it’s steered strong by intangible desires and, sometimes, acted on with rash heat. The emotional regrets of the higher brain come into play much later if we’ve mindlessly spilled our baby makers on shallow ground.

Here’s where the man is right.

Alpha males have always dominated the procreative food chain. Alpha females have always held an equal co-chair, if not the upper hand. Bad boy Alpha males ala Roissy now rule sexual mores in the younger set because significant numbers of Alpha females have devalued themselves into little more than free party favors. These young women have traded their treasures of beauty, dignity, intelligence and sex for social acceptance by a tribe of males who’ll never ask for their last names before pulling down those lace panties.

When these first tier ladies develop all of the ugly callouses such trade offs demand, they blame men for creating a worthless environment for serious relationships. I’m amazed that these women never reflect on their own behavior in creating this harsh reality. Men like sex. They’re sex driven by nature and the only civilizing force moderating their drive is women’s behavior and societal mores. Once women capitulate the high ground in favor of frequent lusty hook ups, men adapt to the new field accordingly. Why would he take you seriously when you don’t give yourself the same consideration? If we don’t believe in our essential tang, why should men?

Roissy can be incredibly crude. He’s undeniably sexist, but if his background story and current circumstances are to be believed, he has some basis for his stream of thought. I’ve heard his story more than once or twice: Fall in love with an intelligent, beautiful woman, marry her, get left in a heap of serious pain some years later when she leaves your ass for her latest lover. Pay alimony, child support, lose the house and half your savings. Watch your children get raised by stand-in dad number two or three. Hit the dating scene after you’ve collected your balls and self confidence from the gutter and discover that most of those pretty, smart women you find supremely attractive are busy obsessing over men who treat them like disposable dolls after dosing them up with a ripe case of herpes

Some men ratchet down their expectations, hitting the lower level end of the market for a responsible partner after that unpleasant experience. A few become Roissys.

Here’s the crux of where the Roissy went fundamentally wrong in his simplistic analysis, misplacing false dominance for true strength. 

Others decide they’re actually worthwhile men who made a dumb mistake. These men don’t need the validation of pretty, prime pussy, refusing to lower their standards for the expediency of regular sex, fidelity or some rudimentary version of true happiness after the burn. They wait until a prime woman with brains, heart and principles comes along who wants the same qualities, unwilling to compromise any of the three for a short, thrilling ride on a hot Roissy rod. They choose fine women who want the deep end of the pool, that place where the sex is hot twelve years down the road and a meeting of the minds is still a high pleasure. These are the true alpha males; men who want quality in every area of their lives, not quantity. They have no desire to denigrate another living soul, heading into bastard mode is the last place they want to be on any given day.

My definition of an Alpha male is light years past that pale stub of manly virility Roissy passes off as reality. I value a body of substance, not casual cruelty, as the bearing of a real man. Men who command a room with confidence own a steady self assurance. Handsome good looks are a help, but spray on tans, bleached teeth and carved six packs are the currency of children. Mature alpha male have charisma and a quiet certitude, surface glitz plays a negligible role for men of stature. It’s how you carry yourself, exuding an intelligent capacity for wit and smart humor along with a genuine appreciation for good women, solid knowledge and refined skills is fundamental. The willingness to toss off honest, well honed opinions in the face of a contrary crowd is hugely attractive.

A dominant male deals with the world from a place of grounded integrity, he values himself and gladly values others who exhibit the same qualities of honest self appraisal. These men don’t cheat on their commitments or run out on their responsibilities. They aren’t cruel or dispassionate. They own empathy, but their second reaction is always how to fix the problem. Providing a solution is second nature to Alpha males. They don’t want to feel your pain, they want to alleviate it.

True alpha males walk the talk, make the mile, lift the load and carry the weight. They show up for life.

T’aint a tight muscle in this version either. Looseness reigns, but damn, it’s done.