I made a big mistake last week, choosing to purchase a new brand of dishwasher detergent that was several dollars cheaper than my usual Cascade. I like saving money where I can and this was a name brand product, so I chucked it in the cart without looking too closely at the label. I’ve been rerunning my dishwasher loads twice since I bought this crappy soap, they just weren’t coming out clean after one cycle. This morning was the worst, my glassware was caked in grease and the plates were coated in slime. I pulled the innards of the dishwasher apart and found gunked up grease clogging the screens and filters and a white crystallized stain covering the bottom of the unit around the drain. I had to scrub everything, made the husband check the lines for clogs and then I took a look at the detergent. It was phosphate free, which means it doesn’t actually clean a damn thing.
I had heard this stuff was less than good and I’m here to tell you flat out, it doesn’t work at all. In fact, this unsoap screws up your dishwasher because it allows the grease to accumulate in the traps since it can’t dissolve that pesky substance normally found on dirty cookware and crockery. On the back of the bottle they have a list of directions (Don’t drink it, stupid!), number four was dirty dishes may need to be pre-washed. After you get past rolling your eyes that there were four directions, focus on the part about hand washing your dishes before you run them through the machine. Hello Palmolive – what’s the fecking point of a dishwasher if not to avoid that chore?! I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the lakes and streams, I want clean dishes. And let’s not kid ourselves, I will not be hand washing the dishes.
Before you get all huffy with my lack of caring for the planet, please note that I own a Bosch dishwasher, the most expensive low energy, low water use appliance manufactured for decadent western convenience. I’d probably use more water and phosphate laden soap if I hired a Guatemalan to stand at my sink three times a day cleaning up our mess. Never mind supporting her expanding carbon footprint that would be sure to increase the planet’s population of consumer driven, meat eating, mouth breathers when she popped out several kids afforded by my generous compensation package. Plus, I’m on a septic system. The only thing I’m watering is a large expanse of my own grass, and correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t phosphates plant fertilizers?
Worst Product Ever or Riding The Short Bus With Environmentalist Friendly Products
or
Hung By A Silver Thread Part 2
Try Seventh Generation or Ecover. Both work very well.
There must be a happy medium somewhere. Unfortunately we have a problem up in my neck of the woods with enclosed waterways that don’t flush out with the tides very effectively. Phosphates are a real problem in promoting algae growth that causes oxygen depletion, fish kills, etc. and have been banned from detergents up here. The requirement of washing the dishes before washing them is one of those things that annoys me to the point of just wanting to throw the dishes against the side of the house instead. Marriage is a challenging enough proposition without the two of us standing over the dishwasher arguing over proper loading methods or whether the dishes must be scrubbed clean before being loaded into what has essentially become a sterilizer. I don’t want or need my dishes to be sterilized. I’m going to just start putting the soiled dishes on the floor for the dogs to lick clean. They do a very thorough job and what my guests don’t know won’t hurt them.
Stop being so nasty, Arthur – it doesn’t suit you.
I do admire your elitist dishwashing alternatives, think the masses can afford those pricey brands?
Mark, all snark aside – I appreciate the concerns you mention. We don’t have those problems here, ours is a ground/drought water problem. Phosphates aren’t a blip on our water concerns – golf courses and master planned communities get our attention. The cities keep approving the growth and fine residents pay through the hoo hoo for water use to abide by their HOA restrictions for green lawns and pretty greens.
I live with a highly degreed environmental engineer, so I have more than a passing acquaintance with the topic. I don’t like dead fish, but I’m sure as shit not going to promote a product that does the opposite of clean dishes and fucks up my expensive appliance bought to be environmentally friendly to boot.
My advice: hire a maid for the dishes and take the woman to bed after a night of good nettle hunting.
As a liberal and by default, an elitist, what do I care what the masses can afford?
8>)
Seriously though. The answer is of course ‘the masses’ can afford those ‘pricey brands’. One tube of Pringles a week is one calculation.
Honey, they’d rather eat off paper plates than give up Pringles.
Your lakes and streams don’t have a chance unless Palmolive can make a cheap version that actually cleans the grease off plates.
The whole point of an automatic dishwasher is that it’s supposed to use less water and energy than hand washing.
Washington state has banned phosphates in dishwashing soap. So residents are now smuggling the good stuff in from Idaho and Oregon.
westsoundmodern’s method might just work. If the dogs get all of the grease and food bits, then the detergent would probably work well enough to get the dishes clean, and sterilized.
Of course, PETA would probably have something to say about this method.
Gordon, it’s actually only the city of Spokane that has the ban in place, forcing people to smuggle the good stuff in from Idaho. Although I think the rest of us going to forced into lock step here shortly. Aurthur will of course be tickled pink.
Oh well, it’s the sheer mass of sheeple who can’t think for themselves in the first place who have truly allowed us to reach this point.
I imagine you would clean your dishes with flourine if one of your kids died of typhus.
Phosphates can be removed from wastewater with proper treatment.
The real problem in the watersheds has to do with broadcast application of phosphate fertilizers and feedlots. A shift to liquid fertilizers would abate most of the runoff issues and proper control of runoff from feedlots would fix the latter.
And as for water, in most of Texas, runoff has vastly decreased due to woody encroachment in the catchment areas of our watersheds. The watersheds of Austin and San Antonio are being covered over with juniper (aka cedar ) and its killing the groundwater supply.
If these cities paid the landowners of the watersheds to maintain grass cover at 90% or greater, they would see a vast improvement in the water supply.
Could the problem be the gel form of the dishwasher detergent as opposed to the brand itself? Full disclosure: I did a spokesperson project for Palmolive last year and was given free product to try out. It worked fine in my Miele dishwasher (I used to have a Bosch dishwasher in my old house. Sniff sniff, I miss it) but I find that powdered detergent (Cascade or Electrasol), with my home’s hard water, works the best. I never buy the gel stuff anymore.
Leah
[...] sometimes the fail is epic: I’ve been rerunning my dishwasher loads twice since I bought this crappy soap, they just [...]
I have family in Spokane and it’s comical, the mind-control dishwashing gambit attempted by the People’s Republic of Washington State. Everything from protecting the baby whales to making Dear Leader Obama proud has been tried.
But everyone has, or had, the same problems with the new dishwasher products. They just DON’T WORK and the state can’t make people happy about having to hand-wash their dishes, can you imagine?
Tragically for the overseers of political correctness, the good citizens of the “Inland Empire” already have logistics in place to bring less-taxed alcohol over from Idaho, legally or not. Truck and SUV loads of cheap beer and get-er-done dish soap stream across the border for distribution throughout neighborhoods, workplaces and schools.
Nutless sorta-men in Seattle may be moldable and easy to drive to the sink, recycled scrubbies and useless phosphate-free detergent in hand. The cowboys, tractor jockeys and military types around Spokane have other things to do with their time.
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